I wonder why…

…there is an urge
in me
that wants things to
fall apart.
If they
don’t do
it on their own,
I have to destroy them.
…every time I believe
I have finally arrived
at the place I belong,
I find a way
to kill that feeling.
Then I keep moving
searching for more
only to find
nothing at all.
… I think I know
who I am
until a hidden part
of me
rises to the surface
and my old self
starts drowning
in blinding emotions.
…I only know half of myself.
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